Everybody leaves Chile tomorrow. I leave Wednesday. While the 12th is official "program ending" day, I thought I would give myself a few more days to tie up loose ends, see friends, and buy gifts for people (don't get your hopes up, I'm broke). I am kind of regretting the decision to stay two extra days. While I wish I could stay forever, Chile isn't Chile without everyone here that I know and love. Everyone leaves Monday night and then I will just be here hanging out alone for two days :( Anyway, enough whining. I am truly excited to get back to the US--friends, family, summer, and all the yummy food I've been missing since February. If you will be in Sycamore between this coming Thursday the 15th and the end of August, give me a call, I want to see you!
We had a re-entry workshop a week or so ago with CIEE and it actually really helped me. I guess they are experts in sending sad little gringos back to the states after a life-changing semester. We had to make lists, and you know how I love lists. They were 1. What we will miss about Chile (friends, the city life, speaking spanish) 2. What we are looking forward to about home (family and friends, food, summer, life being easy and comfortable) 3. What has changed at home since we left (my parents are moving out of my house, old friends made new friends or moved on while we were gone) and 4. How we have changed while we were here. While is was interesting to compare lists with everyone and englightening to see what ended up on my own lists, list number 4 was by far the most telling.
I have learned SO SO much! In this final blog I am going to close out the semester by reviewing the most important thigns that I learned.
1. I learned how to fail. Ohhh I failed so much. I failed many times at understanding people's Spanish, at speaking Spanish myself, at getting the good grades I am accustomed to getting, and at knowing what was going on in general. Because I was put in a completely new environment with limited "survival knowledge" and cultural experience, I made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot of things the embarrassing way. I am the type of person that works hard until I succeed at everything I do. I'm not used to failure. Thus it was humbling that at times I really did try my hardest and still didn't add up or accomplish all I wanted. I learned that it is okay sometimes not to be the best at everything, and whether you succeed at something or fail miserably each experience can teach you something and help you grow in some way.
2. I learned how to speak Spanish! This was the most challenging but most rewarding thing I did this semester. Finally all those years of grammar and language classes paid off. I found that while the task of learning a language in the classroom was about my least favorite thing ever, speaking and applying the language was a great joy. Not only did I stop referring to myself in the masculine tense, but I went from being a nervous, formal speaker to one that is comfortable and relaxed. At the beginning the other Americans and I spoke to each other in English, but towards the end we have switched to Spanish as we know we have little time left to be speaking and hearing this language. It has become a part of the way I see myself and interpret the world, and I think speaking Spanish will be the thing I miss most once I am gone.
3. I learned how to operate in ambiguous situations. In a new country and a new language, there are just so many moments where something happens and you look up and go "Wait, what!?!" Also there are moments when you think you know what's going on and end up learning you are very confused. I'm not really sure this idea is clear and I can't think of any examples, but I think now I am much better at going with the flow and figuring things out as they happen. Also, I am a much more relaxed person. I started off the semester sitting on the bus in traffic freaking out that I would be late, and now I leave my house 15 minutes after I should thinking, "Ehh, I'll get there when I get there!" :D
Well, my heart is a bundle of crazy conflicting emotions right now. In half an hour I am going to see Cristian for the last time, and tomorrow I have to say goodbye to my best friends of the past 5 months. What an amazing 5 months it has been. I am a more mature and capable person than I was when I left Sycamore, and am excited for the adventure that God has for me in the future. I wonder where I will end up? In August I will start my final semester at Hope, graduate in December, and in January be totally adrift, with the possibilities wide open! I am filled to overflowing with thankfulness for the blessing of this semester, and looking forward to the challenges ahead.
Thank you for reading and keeping up with my life this semester. I know a blog is a one-way interaction, and at times I have been really bad at communicating with everyone. I can't wait to catch up with each and every one of you and hear what has been happening the past 5 months in YOUR lives! I am truly blessed to be surrounded by the friends and family that I am. Hopefully I will be blogging to you all again soon--on yet another global adventure!
With all the love in Chile,
Amy
